Define your career breaking points before it’s too late – Issue #23

You are going to be asked to do a lot of things during your career. You should expect some requests and tasks, and most will be appropriate. Some activities will feel uncomfortable, even when they are excellent opportunities for your growth. 

However, some requests may be illegal. A few decisions could haunt you for the rest of your life. If you define your non-negotiable boundaries now, you’ll avoid the slippery slope of choices that can damage your career later.

There is a difference between discomfort that helps you grow vs. something that conflicts with your moral compass. For example, you may feel distressed about being asked to do some public speaking. It is personally uncomfortable, but it isn’t wrong. It is stressful, but it will help you grow and accelerate your career.

However, being asked to fire people just because someone else feels that they must be terminated will feel wrong. You need to deal with performance issues, of course. But, it should be your decision based on the data you gather, not someone else’s assessment.

Occasionally, weak leaders pass the burden down to you to fire people. They don’t want to deal with the messy issues associated with it. However, you have to live with that action. And there may be legal consequences if the person decides to contest it.

There will be times that you reach a tipping point with requests like this from your boss. Do what they are asking and feel like crap for the rest of your life, or make a stand. Let them know that the decision is yours to make, not theirs.

Caution: This may get you fired, subject to other forms of retaliation, or you may have to quit. According to the 2013 National Business Ethics Survey:

21% of employees in the United States who reported misconduct in their companies said they experienced some form of retaliation.

Below are three general tests you can apply to a career-impacting decision. When that little voice inside your head tells you that something is wrong, or your gut twists and churns, take a moment to dig deeper and assess the situation before you commit to that decision.

Legality

Is it legal to move forward with what you are being asked to do? I used to assume that my older and more mature boss would never ask me to do something wrong. I wish I could tell you that you will never be asked to do something illegal or unethical at work, but it does happen. Unfortunately, managers are responsible for 60% of workplace misconduct.

When you feel like you are being asked to do something that breaks the rules:

1. Clarify what the exact request is. You may have misunderstood.

2. Then, document the issue by first confirming with your boss via email that he or she is making this specific request.

3. Respond to their email with concerns about the legality or ethics of the action. Explain that you don’t want to follow through with the request. They may not be aware of the legal issues and will adjust the request accordingly.

4. If your boss continues to push you to take action, then you’ll need to talk with a more senior leader or even your HR rep.

5. Whatever you do, don’t comply with a request that you know is illegal. It may mean that you lose your job, but that’s better than participating in unlawful actions. If you do lose your job, then it’s probably time to seek legal advice.

Integrity

A request may pass the legality test, but it can still violate your sense of right and wrong. We all have a personal moral compass, based on our values and beliefs, that guides our decision-making and ethical behavior. There will be times that this is at odds with what an employer may ask you to do. You know that moving forward with the action will damage your self-respect.

About 10% of employees report they feel pressured to compromise their standards to do their jobs

When this occurs, you can have an honest conversation with your boss about the conflict you are feeling. I’ve had employees raise issues like this with me in the past. They were conflicted about the choices they were facing in a project. Sometimes we were able to resolve the problem in a way that made them feel good about the work they were doing. Other times the issues weren’t that easy to fix, and the project assigned to someone else.

At one new job, my manager gave me a list of “under-performers” to fire. I said, “No, let me get to know them first.” It turned out that they weren’t poor performers. They were just in the wrong roles, working with people who mistreated them, they lacked confidence, etc. Each one ended up becoming a great performer and went on to do even better things with their careers.

“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” — Mark Twain

Career strategy

A request may be legal, and it may align with your moral compass, but you know that it will potentially damage your reputation or relationships within the company. There will also be times that a situation at work is risking your long-term career strategy. The decision you make can take you down the right path or the wrong one. Decisions won’t always be objective or rational. Sometimes you must feel what is right for you.

“Your mind knows only some things. Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.” — Henry Winkler

For example, a re-org could move you and your team under a new leader. If you feel that this leader may put your strategy at risk, then you have a few options in order of escalation:

1. Wait for the change and make the best of it. A re-org happened earlier in my career before I was connected enough to influence the decisions of that scale. I heard rumors of a re-org coming, but I wasn’t in a position to do much about it. Sometimes a change can end up working out; sometimes it won’t be a good thing at all. But, as they often say in big companies, wait six months for the next re-org, and be smarter about shaping your destiny next time.

2. Get ahead of the change. Talk with your boss and the more senior leadership about what you know is coming. Let them know your concerns and how you want a re-org to play out. I’ve done this before with positive results, even though it wasn’t easy, and the conversation was — let’s say — unpleasant. But, it did result in my team reporting into the leader I thought would be best for us and me.

3. Exit the organization or company if you know the change is coming, you can’t influence it, and you know that it will negatively impact your career. I’ve done this before, as well. A leadership change was going to happen, and the wheels were already in motion. It was too late to stop it. I knew that it would be bad for my career, so I decided to resign within the next week.

Your life, your call

When you intentionally design your career to have freedom, you can firmly stand up for your beliefs. You can say “no” to bad decisions. You can push back when something violates your integrity, or risks your self-respect. You can walk away and find a new opportunity that aligns with your long-term career strategy.

They may ask you to do something that feels wrong, but they aren’t the ones who have to live with that decision. You are. Choose the right path, even when it isn’t the easiest one.

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