Do You Need to be Extroverted to Succeed?
Not if you play to your strengths – Issue #109
Many of us grew up with the stereotype that only extroverted, charismatic, and influential people would be successful in life. For example, our history books are full of stories of great leaders who were outgoing, hard-charging, aggressive, politically savvy, ruthless, etc.
You’re not wrong if you think this implies a gender bias as well. The stereotypical image of a male leader continues to persist, although there is new hope that it is slowly fading away.
Interestingly, research has found that we’re most often drawn to charismatic, narcissistic leaders during times of crisis, even though humble people tend to be a better choice for lasting leadership.
Unfortunately, it’s right when people feel that they need strong leadership the most that they make the worst choices.
Whether or not you see leadership in your career future, you may think that extroverts have a more significant potential for getting ahead at work. If you are an extrovert, then this is music to your ears. However, if you’re more of an introvert, I understand that you might be concerned about reaching your full career potential.
The extroverted workplace
The modern workplace appears to have been designed for extroverts with open office floor plans and endless “collaboration meetings.” The traditional career planning for ascension up the ladder also tends to emphasize behaviors more readily exhibited by extroverts.
In a self-perpetuating cycle of extroverted leaders taking other extroverted people under their wing, they rarely seek to promote employees who are unlike themselves.
“Introverts are much less often groomed for leadership positions.”
– Susan Cain
As with any behavioral trait, it’s a bad idea to paint everyone with the same brush. You can’t say that all introverted people aren’t suited for management or leadership. You also can’t predict when others will be excellent leaders simply because they are extroverted.
For example, the extroverted behavior of Steve Jobs as a demanding leader is legendary. However, I was at Apple when he returned, and I saw that there was a steep price to pay for that style of leadership.
Yes, he could be extremely persuasive, visionary, inspiring, and charismatic. But, he could also be cruel, denigrating, and ruthless.
Many feared him, and a few great employees chose to leave the company rather than deal with it every day.
Was it worth it? I guess it depends on who you are (e.g., employee vs. shareholder) and what your definition of success is.
Dominance vs. collaboration
We’ve all had experiences with bosses who drain us. There are certainly some supervisors who behave the way they do simply because this is how they were trained to manage, and they know of no better way to lead.
However, we all know of the bosses who intentionally crush other people in their quest to be seen as the smartest and most powerful person in the room. We’ve all been in meetings with extroverts who dominated the discussion.
As Liz Wiseman explains in her recently updated book, Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter, the best bosses amplify the talent of their teams, instead of trying to outshine them. These are the types of leaders who listen, elevate, and inspire.
If it isn’t your style to hog the spotlight, then play to your strengths of empathy, one-on-one connection, and collaboration. Build relationships outside of the big meetings. Work with people to show them how you can win together vs. someone losing because someone else feels like they have to win at all costs.
A better way to succeed
It’s high time to set aside the stereotype of extroversion being the only way to succeed in the workplace.
We also need to embrace a new style of leadership that will encourage more cognitive and behavioral diversity on the career ladder.
We need to reward the quiet people who get things done in healthy partnerships with others without always feeling the need to run the show.
If you’re an introvert and have always felt like leadership wasn’t a possible career path, I encourage you to read my post on how to leverage your introversion as a career strength.
If you’re an extroverted leader and you suspect that you may not have been hiring or mentoring a more diverse and introverted group of employees, you might want to consider research that shows that diverse teams perform better. Having people in your organization who do not think and behave the way you do is a competitive advantage, as well.
Play to your strengths, and support others in playing to their strengths. Let’s stop forcing everyone to fit into a specific stereotype of how successful people are supposed to behave.
Quick Tip
Playing to your strengths sometimes requires finding a job that allows you to do so. If your current workplace doesn’t seem to recognize and reward who you naturally are, you may feel like you’re beating your head against the wall trying to get ahead there.
I’m introverted, yet I found myself in a workplace where I had to act like an extrovert to get promoted. I was able to put on my “extroverted face” every day for years and move up the ladder.
However, it was draining, and I wasn’t happy that I couldn’t be myself. I finally had to make some significant changes in my career that allowed me to play to my strengths and stop playing the extroverted leader game.
My stress levels dropped, and my health improved dramatically. I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me.
So, if you know that your boss and company culture don’t reward someone like you, find a job where you will be appreciated for who you are. You deserve a career path that supports the value that you bring to the table.
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