Don't Risk Career Suicide by Following the Wrong People
Be careful with your professional reputation – Issue #119
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Working for great leaders can make all the difference in your career. But, be careful that you don’t “hitch your wagon to the wrong horse.”
In other words, don’t give allegiance to someone simply because they are powerful and influential. That may work in the near term (e.g., following them up the promotion ladder), but it’s never worth it in the long run.
No one respects someone they observe behaving like a sycophant. Yet, I have seen this type of behavior many times during my career.
I remember seeing it for the first time at one of my part-time jobs when I was a college student. One of the employees would rush to greet the owners every day when they came in. He asked how their days were going and tried to make small talk.
Note, he didn’t behave this way with anyone else (i.e., he wasn’t friendly with everyone). I’m not sure how he thought this behavior would help him, but he never missed a chance to ingratiate himself with them.
The industry game
During my past decades in Silicon Valley, I continued to witness my fair share of people “kissing the ring.” Within companies, there were always a few employees who would kiss up to their manager and more senior leaders in the organization.
There is nothing wrong with being polite, respectful, and recognizing someone’s position within the company. But, I think we all can tell when someone crosses the line into obsequiousness.
As I left the corporate world and began spending more time with startup founders, angel investors, and VCs, I saw this behavior repeated even more frequently. At several events, the founders would circle the investors, desperate to capture their attention and get a chance to pitch.
They would laugh at every ridiculous joke, nod at every comment, and heap praise upon the investors for their infinite wisdom, brilliant timing, and incredible generosity. This behavior was sad to observe in and of itself. But, it was even more disturbing to watch the investors reinforce it.
They would say things like, “Do this for me, and I’ll let you pitch me for 60 seconds” or “Give me a ride to the hotel, and I might let you pitch me until we get there.”
Ugh. This type of scene was repeated often enough at startup events that I decided to tap out. I couldn’t stand to be a part of it any longer.
So, what’s the harm?
You only risk your self-respect when you kiss up to the right person, and it works out for you, I guess. However, the real danger lies in hitching your wagon to the wrong horse.
You may not recognize that you’ve made a mistake until it’s too late. Over the past few years, the disturbing news in the Tech industry has been full of influential people abusing their position, power, and privilege.
Has this been a wake-up call? I hope so.Â
Don’t tie your career to someone you don’t respect, no matter how rich and powerful they are.
I am surprised by the number of people who seem to be missing even an ounce of spidey sense, though. They kept their wagons firmly hitched to their shaky horse.
As the reports began rolling in, they rushed to support and defend their favorite power player. After all, some of them had spent years kissing the ring, and they were still banking on receiving some benefit in the future.
But, as it all came tumbling down, they discovered that this was career suicide. People began noting names, screen-capping tweets, and creating lists of all of those who were on the wrong side of history.
The smart ones stepped back, apologized, or silently withdrew support. Others decided to double down and dig themselves in deeper.
I watched more than one person do this, and their careers crashed and burned. They disappeared from the public eye. This was years ago, but I still haven’t witnessed the recovery of their careers.
Yes, this is an extreme example in an extreme situation. But it can — and does — happen more frequently than you would think.
Over the years, I’ve witnessed a number of people go down with the ship when they attached their career success to the wrong leader. When you do this, their reputation becomes your reputation.
You can continue to hope that you are insightful and make wise choices about the people you follow. However, it might be wiser to avoid this vulnerability in the first place.
Be smart about your career
I suppose you could view ring kissing as a career hack, but you know how I feel about hacks. It may work in the short term and help you get ahead. It may even help you secure funding for your struggling startup.
However, it’s like playing with fire. If you rely on this to get ahead, sooner or later, you will get burned.
Set aside the potential risk of career suicide for a moment. Do you really want to be that person? Is that the reputation you want to have?
The industry is small and we all talk about the people we’ve observed playing this game, over and over again. You may think that you’re fooling a leader with flattery, but they aren’t stupid. They know what you are doing, and even they don’t respect it.
Finally, do you really like the feeling inside when you behave that way? Who enjoys feeling so deeply indebted to another person that they are vulnerable to that person’s whims, each and every day?
No thanks.
The path may be longer and more challenging, but the reward is that much sweeter when you earn it yourself.
Let others kiss the ring if they want. You can rise above that.
Quick Tip
Treat everyone at work with the same amount of respect and kindness. Observe your behavior as you bump into people at different levels in the workplace hierarchy.
Do you feel more nervous or stressed around some people (e.g., execs)? Do you behave differently? Do you speak differently?
Why should someone behave one way with the receptionist at the front desk, and then behave in an entirely different way with the VP they see in the hallway? Yet, they often do.
Of course, you are going to be more comfortable with friends and familiar colleagues. That’s normal.
But, there is no need to fear senior management. You don’t need to behave with a bizarre amount of deference.
I’ve sat on both sides of the table, as a junior designer and later as a product executive. I was happy when people behaved confidently with me when I was a VP. They were still polite, but they didn’t seem to fear me at all.
We all respect people who are true to their nature. We admire people who are confident.
We lose respect for people who treat people worse when they suspect that they have a lower status. We also lose respect for people who kiss up to us.
When you are confident in your talent and know that you have options, you can be more confident at work and behave the same way no matter what the title of the person is sitting across from you.
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