20 Things You Should Stop Doing – Issue #327

Say No to These 20 Things

The hard part is saying “No” and sticking to that decision. But, it’s even harder to do that and not feel guilty about it.

However, let me tell you something. The most successful people in the world say “No” to hundreds or even thousands of requests every week. It doesn’t hurt them. In fact, it’s one of the primary reasons that they are successful.

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”
— Warren Buffett

1. Accepting pointless meetings

I worked in Tech for decades, and one of the most common complaints is that there are way too many meetings. As an exec, I used to spend my entire day in conference rooms. As an individual contributor, it’s hard to get your work done if you spend your whole day on Zoom. It’s ok to decline meetings when you know that your presence isn’t essential.

2. Traditional networking events

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve never enjoyed — or gotten much value out of — traditional networking events. They are a considerable time-waster since you could easily spend several hours at one and walk away with nothing. There are smarter ways to build a powerful network.

3. Unnecessary business trips

Travel can certainly be enjoyable. I cherish many of the business trips I’ve taken around the world. But, too much travel can be grueling and a waste of time. I remember a few trips that didn’t accomplish much beyond what could have been handled with a few conference calls or Zoom meetings. Learn how to say “No” to unnecessary and unpleasant travel.

4. Excessive social events 

As an introvert, it doesn’t take much for me to exceed my limit of social events. But, even if you’re extroverted and enjoy them, there can be too much of a good thing, and it will quickly eat up your time. Say “No” when you know that you could spend that time doing something more important.

5. Long parties

This is the time of year for holiday lunches, dinners, and parties. Yes, you sometimes need to make an appearance (e.g., at your company’s holiday party). But, you don’t have to stay until the bitter end. Plan your party strategy for attending for a little while, talking with the right people (e.g., your boss), and making a gracious exit.

6. Endless school functions

What’s up with all of the school activities and events? I can tell you that my parents didn’t spend a fraction of the time at my school that parents are expected to spend today. Yes, you absolutely should attend your children’s games, plays, etc. But, I know there are other events that they would be happy to skip — and you should too.

7. Making time for a quick chat

It seems like everyone on LinkedIn just wants a “quick chat” lately. Someone connects with me, sends an introductory message, and then drops the “Hey, I would love to hop on a quick call with you to talk more about what I do.” I used to make time for a few of these. I also used to be super polite with the banter back and forth about how I didn’t need whatever they were selling. Now, I make it clear that I have no time for it and occasionally block people. My time is too valuable.

8. Letting people “pick your brain”

I wouldn’t be a business advisor and leadership coach if I didn’t like helping people. I spent many years giving people advice, meeting for lunch to help someone with a tough decision, and saying yes to requests to “pick my brain.” But, it became too much and left me very little time for my own work. Put a limit on how often you let people pick your brain, and seriously consider setting up paid calls to access your precious time and wisdom.

9. Getting pulled into drama

I used to get pulled into so much drama when I worked in an office. It happens less often now that I primarily work at home, but you’d be surprised. Virtual drama over messaging and Zoom is still a significant time sink. It’s good to help people and support them, but there’s a line beyond which you end up wasting too much time listening to someone mope, moan, and complain without them taking action to solve anything.

10. Keeping up appearances 

When you catch yourself saying, “I have to do this because everyone else does,” take a hard look at why you feel that way. All too often, we waste time on activities because we want to be perceived a certain way by friends and neighbors.

11. Tasks you should delegate

I would bet there are several tasks you’re still doing every week that could easily be handled by someone else. I’m a bit of a control freak, so I get it. One of my challenges as a leader was letting go of work that I knew I should delegate to my team. But, once you finally do, you’ll be amazed at how much time you recover.

12. Being guilted into events

We’re sometimes guilted into events by our family (e.g., a family reunion), but it can occur with friends too. You should only attend events when you really want to vs. when you feel forced to do so. Don’t let guilt steal precious time from your life.

13. Saying “Yes” out of fear 

How often do you say “Yes” to a request from your boss because you’re afraid of potential negative repercussions if you say “No”? I know that I’ve done that. It can be a fear of being fired, not getting promoted later, or your manager’s disappointment. But, that’s no way to live. If you’re overloaded and overworked because of fear, you have to overcome that to manage your time. Or, it might be time for a change (e.g., find a better job where you don’t have to live in fear).

14. Working for exposure 

The game of “working for exposure” is one that consultants, designers, and writers will often be asked to play. Someone is too cheap to pay you what you’re worth, so they promise that the exposure will be fantastic. It never is. Say “No” to this trap.

15. Busy work

Some work will help you grow and advance, but some projects are below your skill level and simply keep you busy. Busy work is a waste of time. It won’t help you shine and get promoted. Have a strategy for taking on work that matters and alternative solutions for low-ROI projects and tasks (e.g., delegating to a more junior colleague).

16. Volunteering too much

Some people want to be good citizens and raise their hands to volunteer way too much at work (e.g., planning parties, scheduling events, designing a team t-shirt). Yes, it’s good to step up occasionally and help with tasks that fall outside your job description. But, do it too often, and you’ll find yourself drowning and falling behind in your expected work.

17. Responding immediately

Communication via email, texting, and online messaging has exploded over the past decades. There’s an “always-on” expectation, and it’s easier than ever for people to reach you 24×7 and fragment your attention. Resist the urge to respond immediately to every single message. Instead, batch the activity and reply when you want to dedicate time to it.

18. Excessive multitasking

I know that the modern job requires quite a bit of multitasking. But, we often take it to extremes. We feel like we can do it all and still be effective. The truth is, we cannot (remember the stat that only 2.5% of people are supertaskers?). If you want to reduce your stress, feel less tired, and get more quality work done, focus on one or a few things at a time.

19. Commuting for a job

This may no longer be an issue for you if you’re working from home forever or have a short commute. But, I used to spend over 625 hours a year on the freeway before I finally left my corporate job behind. The world has changed significantly in the past two years. If you’re tired of wasting time on your daily commute to the office, there are better options now.

20. Apologizing for saying no

Finally, you need to say “No” to apologizing for saying No. It’s human nature, I guess. I still catch myself doing it. “Sorry, I don’t have the time to do that.” But, you don’t need to be sorry for making yourself a priority. You don’t need to apologize for treating your time like the precious resource that it is.

How to say No

How you say “No” to a request for your time depends on the request and who the requestor is. It’s easier to decline a meeting request from a stranger on LinkedIn than tell your boss that you don’t want to take on a new project.

You will need to be more thoughtful about your response to your manager, which may require a deeper explanation and offering alternatives. But, saying “No” falls into these major categories.

I don’t do that

In some cases, a request will be at odds with your values, beliefs, and priorities. You could potentially fulfill the request, but you don’t want to. Not now and not ever.

For example:

• “No, thank you. I don’t do that kind of work.”

• “No, thank you. I’m no longer accepting this type of meeting.”

You can decide if you want to explain why or leave it at that.

I can’t do that

In other cases, you can’t fulfill the request because it is beyond your capabilities, not within your power, or otherwise impossible. It’s not a choice of doing it or not, you simply cannot, and it will be a waste of your time to try.

For example:

• “No, I’m not the right person for that task.”

• “No, I don’t have the power to make that decision. You’ll need to talk with Susan.”

• “No, I can’t attend that meeting in person since it would be a 4-hour drive.”

I have other commitments

There will be times when you decide to prioritize existing commitments over something new that demands more of your time. You can’t keep putting new things on your plate.

For example:

• “No, my time is already fully allocated to other priorities, and I can’t take on any additional work.”

• “No, I already have a commitment at that time… What is it? It’s personal.”

• “No, my schedule is full, and I’m not accepting any new meetings.”

Not now, but later

Finally, there will be times that you would like to accept a request but simply don’t have the time right now. In those cases, you can negotiate.

For example:

• “I’d be happy to accept this project, but it will have to wait until next Friday when I finish my commitment to this current project.”

• “My schedule is full this week, but I’d be happy to talk with you next Wed.”

I think you get the idea. The big takeaway is that you should be the one owning your time and deciding how you allocate it. You get to prioritize your activities and how you schedule things.

Take control, stop saying “Yes” to everything, say “No” when necessary, and negotiate when appropriate. When you eliminate the wrong things, it makes more time for the right things.

⬆️ Scroll to the top if you want to listen to my expanded discussion of this article. 🎧

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⭐ Identify Your Video Theme

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9 days ago · 1 like · Larry Cornett, Ph.D.

Larry Cornett is a leadership coach and business advisor who hosts a private mastermind community for ambitious professionals with weekly challenges, office hours, and 24×7 support. If you’re interested in starting your own business someday (or accelerating an existing one), check out his “Employee to Solopreneur” course (launching in 2022).

Larry lives in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with his wife and children, and a gigantic Great Dane. He does his best to share advice to help others take complete control of their work and life. He’s also on Twitter @cornett.